Monday , 27 January 2020

Grindr Poll indicates SNP General Election Victory

A cheeky poll conducted by Tom Court indicates a massive win (size apparently does matter) for the Scottish National Party amongst gay male Grindr users.

Court contacted 1,024 Grindr users in the Edinburgh region asking them as to their voting intention in May’s General Election, with an overwhelming majority saying they’d vote for the SNP.

Last year Court conducted a similar poll on the indy referendum with 655 users giving a result that was very close to the actual result: 54% against and 46% for.

Court cheekily figured: “After the referendum poll, it became evident that Grindr holds the key to all electoral predictions. With the forthcoming general election too close to call with any standard polling organisations, and the SNP potentially vital to the balance of power in Westminster, I knew only horny Scottish gays could help us now. This would be the poll to end all polls.”

This time round of the 1024 Grindr users Court questioned, 436 responses were counted. 196 of these users settled on a party. Here are their results:

61.73% (121)   SNP

11.73% (23)     Labour

9.18% (18)       Conservative

7.14% (14)       Green

3.57% (7)         UKIP

3.57% (7)         Liberal Democrat

1.53% (3)         Monster Raving Loony

1.02% (2)         BNP

0.51% (1)         Socialist

A further 240 users did not settle on a party, and Court divided their responses as follows:

38   No intention of voting

34   Answered to tell me they’re not going to answer

33   General evasion

32   Undecided

18   Too horny to engage politically

16   Not eligible to vote

15   Bewilderment

13   Indifference

12   Incomprehensible

11   Rage/aggression

10   Obvious joke answers (“Taliban”, “Meryl Streep”, “UKIP” etc)

7     “Anyone but…” (These users made 3 mentions of the SNP, 2 Conservative, 2 Labour, 2 UKIP, 1 Green, and 1 left wing parties in general)

1     Turned out to be a spare account of someone Court already polled

Court concluded: “despite their resistance to independence, Grindr users will vote overwhelmingly in favour of the Scottish National Party. Given that my referendum poll was reported by many as having predicted the outcome, we can conclude from this that the SNP will form a comfortable majority government in Westminster with 62% of the United Kingdom’s vote. This prediction can’t possibly fail.”

Here are some of the funnier responses:

poll4 poll3 poll2 poll1

About Dan Littauer

Dan Littauer is a journalist who specializes in LGBTI current affairs, travel writing, feature writing and investigative journalism. He is a correspondent for LGBTQ Nation, ManAboutWorld, and previously worked for Gay Star News, PinkNews, San Diego Gay and Lesbian News, Gay Middle East, Lonely Planet as well as contributing occasionally to the BBC, Al-Jazeera, CNN and The Guardian. He also had an extensive career outside journalism, which included teaching psychoanalysis and social science, and consultancy work for the travel market. When he is not busy writing, he can be spotted rambling around the stunning Scottish landscape, where he lives, spending time at home with his cat.

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